DJT1689: Lets have a reasonable debate about the command from allah to beat disobedient wives as a last resort before divorce.

"...As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them..."

Don't you think wife beating is barbaric?

 

RKC: I see not much has changed on this board. I think wife beating is barbaric....too bad you can't comprehend the Holy Qur'an does not support it.

 

Question of Fatwa: Respected scholars! Does Islam allow wife beating? Some husbands are violent and they say that the Qur'an allows them to beat their wives. Is there any logical explanation given regarding men being allowed to beat their wives, as stated in surat An-Nisa', verse 34?

Content of Reply: In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.


Dear questioner, we would like to thank you for the great confidence you place in us, and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His Sake.

The verse you mention has been greatly misconceived by many people who focus merely on its surface meaning, taking it to allow wife beating. When the setting is not taken into account, it isolates the words in a way that distorts or falsifies the original meaning. Before dealing with the issue of wife-battering in the perspective of Islam, we should keep in mind that the original Arabic wording of the Qur'an is the only authentic source of meaning. If one relies on the translation alone, one is likely to misunderstand it.

Commenting on this issue, Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, former President of the Islamic Society of North America, states:

"According to the Qur'an the relationship between the husband and
wife should be based on mutual love and kindness. Allah says:

 

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." (Ar-Rum: 21)

The Qur'an urges husbands to treat their wives with kindness. [In the event of a family dispute, the Qur'an exhorts the husband to treat his wife kindly and not to overlook her positive aspects]. Allah Almighty says:

 

"Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good." (An-Nisa': 19)

It is important that a wife recognizes the authority of her husband in the house. He is the head of the household, and she is supposed to listen to him. But the husband should also use his authority with respect and kindness towards his wife. If there arises any disagreement or dispute among them, then it should be resolved in a peaceful manner. Spouses should seek the counsel of their elders and other respectable family members and friends to batch up the rift and solve the differences.

However, in some cases a husband may use some light disciplinary
action in order to correct the moral infraction of his wife, but this is only applicable in extreme cases and it should be resorted to if one is sure it would improve the situation. However, if there is a fear that it might worsen the relationship or may wreak havoc on him or the family, then he should avoid it completely.

The Qur'an is very clear on this issue. Almighty Allah says:

 

"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more strength than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in the husband's absence what Allah would have them to guard. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance); for Allah is most High and Great (above you all). If you fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family and the other from hers. If they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation; for Allah has full knowledge and is acquainted with all things." (An-Nisa': 34-35)

It is important to read the section fully. One should not take part of the verse and use it to justify one's own misconduct. This verse neither permits violence nor condones it. It guides us to ways to handle delicate family situation with care and wisdom. The word "beating" is used in the verse, but it does not mean "physical abuse". The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explained it "dharban ghayra mubarrih" which means "a light tap that leaves no mark". He further said that face must be avoided. Some other scholars are of the view that it is no more than a light touch by siwak, or toothbrush.

Generally, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to
discourage his followers from taking even this measure. He never hit any female, and he used to say that the best of men are those who do not hit their wives. In one hadith he expressed his extreme repulsion from this behavior and said, "How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then embrace (sleep with) her?" (Al-Bukhari, English Translation, vol. 8, Hadith 68, pp. 42-43)

It is also important to note that even this "light strike" mentioned in the verse is not to be used to correct some minor problem, but it is permissible to resort to only in a situation of some serious moral misconduct when admonishing the wife fails, and avoiding from sleeping with her would not help. If this disciplinary action can correct a situation and save the marriage, then one should use it."

Dr. Jamal Badawi, professor at Saint Mary's University in Halifax,Nova Scotia, Canada, and a cross-appointed faculty member in the Departments of Religious Studies and Management, adds:

"If the problem relates to the wife's behavior, the husband may
exhort her and appeal for reason. In most cases, this measure is
likely to be sufficient. In cases where the problem persists, the
husband may express his displeasure in another peaceful manner, by sleeping in a separate bed from hers. There are cases, however, in which a wife persists in bad habits and showing contempt of her husband and disregard for her marital obligations. Instead of divorce, the husband may resort to another measure that may save the marriage, at least in some cases. Such a measure is more accurately described as a gentle tap on the body, but never on the face, making it more of a symbolic measure than a punitive one.

Even here, that maximum measure is limited by the following:

a. It must be seen as a rare exception to the repeated exhortation of mutual respect, kindness and good treatment. Based on the Qur'an and Hadith, this measure may be used in the cases of lewdness on the part of the wife or extreme refraction and rejection of the husband's reasonable requests on a consistent basis (nushuz). Even then, other measures, such as exhortation, should be tried first.

b. As defined by Hadith, it is not permissible to strike anyone's
face, cause any bodily harm or even be harsh. What the Hadith
qualifies as "dharban ghayra mubarrih", or light striking, was
interpreted by early jurists as a (symbolic) use of siwak! They
further qualified permissible "striking" as that which leaves no mark on the body. It is interesting that this latter fourteen-centuries-old qualifier is the criterion used in contemporary American law to separate a light and harmless tap or strike from "abuse" in the legal sense. This makes it clear that even this extreme, last resort, and "lesser of the two evils" measure that may save a marriage does not meet the definitions of "physical abuse," "family violence, "or "wife battering" in the 20th century law in liberal democracies, where such extremes are so commonplace that they are seen as national concerns.

c. The permissibility of such symbolic expression of the seriousness of continued refraction does not imply its desirability. In several hadiths, the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) discouraged this measure. Here are some of his sayings in this regard:

"Do not beat the female servants of Allah";

"Some (women) visited my family complaining about their husbands
(beating them). These (husbands) are not the best of you."

In another hadith the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) is reported to have said: "How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then he may embrace (sleep with) her?"

d. True following of the Sunnah is to follow the example of the
Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) who never resorted to that measure, regardless of the circumstances.

e. Islamic teachings are universal in nature. They respond to the
needs and circumstances of diverse times, cultures and circumstances. Some measures may work in some cases and cultures or with certain persons but may not be effective in others. By definition, a "permissible" act is neither required, encouraged or forbidden. In fact it may be to spell out the extent of permissibility, such as in the issue at hand, rather than leaving it unrestricted or unqualified, or ignoring it all together. In the absence of strict qualifiers, persons may interpret the matter in their own way, which can lead to excesses and real abuse.

f. Any excess, cruelty, family violence, or abuse committed by
any "Muslim" can never be traced, honestly, to any revelatory text (Qur'an or Hadith). Such excesses and violations are to be blamed on the person(s) himself, as it shows that they are paying lip service to Islamic teachings and injunctions and failing to follow the true Sunnah of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)."

 

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>From: RKCanaday

>Content of Reply

DJT1689: Thank you for your reply,

 

RKC: To be honest, I’m not sure how sincere that is.

 

 

 

DJT1689: lets have a proper discussion about this and not let anyone ruin it and try to disrupt it?

 

RKC: You don’t really want to have a discussion. You can blame yourself ruining this conversation and probably many more on this board. Your post was deceitful, rude, disrespectful, and evasive. Don’t think I’m mad about it. I really believe if you could do better you would. BTW, don’t think because some time has elapsed I had any problems responding to your post. I have a family I would much rather spend time with.

 

 

 

DJT1689: I know what the Quran says about wives who are obedient to their husband, we are not discussing them,

 

RKC: There are others who, visit this board, and would like to know how wives are to be treated in Islam. Especially in light of you trying to say the Holy Qur’an allows “domestic violence.”

 

 

 

DJT1689: we are discussing the command to beat those who continue to be disobedient to their husbands [and as a final resort before divorce].

 

RKC: My posted addressed this specifically and based on the remainder of your post, you were not able to comprehend it as expected.

 

DJT1689: The Scholars you quote confirm that the word used in the Quran is correctly translated "beating" –

 

RKC: Where? No one confirmed the correct translation was “beat”. The author of the question addressed the word which was presented to him by the questioner and then showed how “beat” in that translation of the Qur’an does not mean “physical abuse” or “domestic violence.

 

Did you read the part about anything in English is the meaning of the Holy Qur’an? From the previous post…

 

“we should keep in mind that the original Arabic wording of the Qur'an is the only authentic source of meaning. If one relies on the translation alone, one is likely to misunderstand it.”

 

Surah 4

34. Alrrijalu qawwamoona AAala alnnisa-i bima faddala Allahu baAAdahum AAala baAAdin wabima anfaqoo min amwalihim faalssalihatu qanitatun hafithatun lilghaybi bima hafitha Allahu waallatee takhafoona nushoozahunna faAAithoohunna waohjuroohunna fee almadajiAAi waidriboohunna fa-in ataAAnakum fala tabghoo AAalayhinna sabeelan inna Allaha kana AAaliyyan kabeeran

 

 

When you consider the below highlighted section in Arabic and the Sunnah of The Prophet, you will find that “beat” is more accurately translated as “hit” or “strike”.  Although I’m not sold on it, I’ve even seen it translated as “separate”.

 

This word has over a dozen meanings in addition to the ones listed above. To me, if makes no sense to translate this word as “beat” when there are several Hadith which say not to “beat” your wife. I prefer “hit” or “strike” because of the Hadith which talk to the amount of force to be used.

 

Even a child understands there are varying degrees of force and damage that can be done and described with “strike”. I can “strike” a child on the behind in a manner which wouldn’t even be classified as a spanking because it is so light or I could “strike” a burglar with deadly force while he was in the process of hurting my family.

 

 

 

DJT1689: they then explain that this verse does not allow husbands to beat their wives for no reason (see above regarding obedient wives).

 

RKC: Agreed. This applies when your wife is doing something extreme like adultery, but you don’t have to recap a post which I put up.

 

 

 

DJT1689: Yet nobody was suggesting this, I was not saying that the Quran allows every husband to hit his wife for any and every reason, I was talking specifically about those who continue to be disobedient and how the Quran then goes through some very detailed stages of correction – 

 

RKC: You seem to be a very confused individual. Who said you suggested “the Qur’an allows every husband to hit his wife for any and every reason”?

 

 

 

DJT1689: the last stage before divorce being to physically beat the disobedient wife.

 

RKC: Did you read this part of the Fatwa Q&A? From the previous post…

 

“This verse neither permits violence nor condones it. It guides us to ways to handle delicate family situation with care and wisdom. The word "beating" is used in the verse, but it does not mean "physical abuse".” 

 

 

 

DJT1689: It is this last stage of correction that I consider barbaric.

 

RKC: You consider it barbaric because you have misunderstood this part of the Qur’an…most likely because of your hatred of Islam and Muslims. It’s not “domestic violence”. It doesn’t make sense to me for the proper translation of this ayat to be “beat”, when The Prophet said the below statement. From the previous post…

 

In one hadith he expressed his extreme repulsion from this behavior and said, "How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then embrace (sleep with) her?" (Al-Bukhari, English Translation, vol. 8, Hadith 68, pp. 42-43)

 

“The believers who show the most perfect faith are shose who have the best character and the best of you are those who are best to their wives” (Tirinidthi).

 

Women vs Pg 37

 

 

Of Wives

412. A Muslim must not hate his wife; and if he be displeased with one bad quality in her, then let him be pleased with another which is good.
413. Do you beat your own wife as you would a slave? That must you not do.
414. I (Mu’aviyah b. Haidah) said, “0 Apostle of God! what is my duty to my wife?” He said, “That you give her to eat as you eat yourself, and clothe her as you clothe yourself; and do not slap her in the face nor abuse her, nor separate yourself from her in displeasure.”
415. Give your wife good counsel; and if she has goodness in her, she will soon take it, and leave off idle talking; and do not beat your noble wife like a slave

416. Muhammad said: “Beat not your wives.” Then Omar came to the Rasül (Muhammad) and said, “Wives have got the upper hand of their husbands from hearing

417. He is the most perfect Muslim whose disposition is best; and the best of you are they who behave best to their wives.

 

The Sayings of Muhammad, Page 115-116

 

 

Furthermore, the Prophet of Islam has condemned any unjustifiable beating. Some Muslim wives complained to him that their husbands had beaten them. Hearing that, the Prophet categorically stated that:

 
“Those who do so (beat their wives) are not the best ‘ among you” (Abu Dawood).

 

It has to be remembered at this point that the Prophet has also said:

“The best of you is he who is best to his family, and lam the best among you to my family” (Tirmidthi).

 

The Prophet advised one Muslim woman, whose name was Fatimah bint Qais, not to marry a man because the man was known for beating women:

“I went to the Prophet and said: A bul Jahm and Mu ‘awiah have proposed to marry me. The Prophet (by way of advice) said: As to Mu’awiah he is very poor andAbul Jahm is accustomed to beating women” (Muslim).

 

Women vs Pg 37

 

 

 

 

DJT1689: The Quran tells muslim husbands to love their wives, so beating for no reason is not allowed in Islam.

 

RKC: A “beating”, as you describe it is never allowed in Islam.

 

 

 

DJT1689: However, beating is commanded as a final resort before divorce - where a relationship has broken down to such a degree that the woman has ignored a verbal warning and ignored the separation of the marital bedroom. The Scholars you quote confirm that beating a disobedient wife is indeed what is commanded

 

RKC: Wrong again. A “strike” is allowed under the below conditions. It is not “commanded” or obligatory. If you believe this action will not do any good, then you do not have to.

 

The strike cannot leave a bruise.

The strike cannot draw blood.

The strike cannot hit the face.

The strike cannot cause pain.

The strike cannot be given if you have not kindly and respectfully talked to your wife about the situation.

The strike cannot be given if you have not slept separately from her.

The strike cannot be given if you believe it will not do any good.

DJT1689: as they proceed to quote from the Sahih Literature about how the beating should be with a toothbrush like implement (known as a siwak).

 

RKC: It’s not that literal. The point that’s being made is the establishment of the force of the strike.

 

 

 

DJT1689: The Scholars seem intent on trying to lessen the obvious inhumanity of beating your wife by quoting literature which supports a "light" beating.

 

RKC: They’re not lessening it. They are showing you the force which should be used. You, on the other hand, are trying to exaggerate, intensify, and prolong the force to be used.

 

 

 

DJT1689: In fact, some translators insert the word "light" into the text of the Quran so that the Western Audience

 

RKC: As those translators should (and they should do more) because the bigots in the “Western Audience” are woefully ignorant and will purposely misrepresent this verse.

 

 

 

DJT1689: is not horrified

 

RKC: Do you really think the “Western Audience” would be horrfified with all the rapes, murders, incest, etc in the Bible?!? Even when you consider that the majority don’t know their Bible very well, there is still all types of stuff in the movies, on TV, and video games.

 

Would the “Western Audience” be “horrified” by the below items which Giish1983 posted earlier in the week? Can you address the highlighted sections? Is this “unacceptable and barbaric”? What are the limits to the below beating? “Beat her soundly” sounds barbaric to me.

 

1. In the "Rules of Marriage" compiled by Friar Cherubino in the 15 th century (Bussert, 1986) we find the careful instruction to a husband to first reprimand his wife; "And if this still doesn't work . . . take up a stick and beat her soundly . . . for it is better to punish the body and correct the soul than to damage the soul and spare the body" (p. 13).

 

2. Until the 19th Century, there was a charming little rule of thumb that applied to family life. A man was allowed to beat his wife as long as the stick he used was no wider than a thumb." —Ellen Goodman, Washington Post, April 19, 1983.

 

3. "In state courts across the country, wife beating was legal until 1890. There was a rule of thumb, by which courts had stated a man might beat his wife with a switch no thicker than his thumb." —Chicago Tribune, March 18, 1990

 

4. Under English Common Law] A woman, either married or unmarried, could hold no office of trust or power. She was not recognized as a citizen. The status of a married woman was little better than that of a domestic servant. By the English Common Law her husband was her lord and master. He had the sole custody of her person, and of her children while minors. He could punish her "with a stick no thicker than his thumb," and she could not complain against him.

 

RKC: Was this derived from the Talmud?

 

“It has to be noted that the Talmud sanctions wife beating as chastisement for the purpose of discipline. The husband is not restricted to the extreme cases such as those of open lewdness. He is allowed to beat his wife even if she just refuses to do her house work. Moreover, he is not limited only to the use of light punishment. He is permitted to break his wife’s stubbornness by lash or by starving her.”

 

Women vs Pg 39

 

 

 

DJT1689: by the savage nature of this command.

 

RKC: As my previous post and this one have demonstrated…..it’s not savage at all.

 

 

 

DJT1689: What is clear is that the Quran has a detailed procedure for dealing with a disobedient wife: The husband must: 1. Warn about such conduct. 2. Deny intimacy. 3. Beat the wife. ---- 4. Divorce proceedings.

 

RKC: Further demonstration that you have no comprehension of this “detailed procedure”. You have mentioned nothing of the ayat below.

 

Surah 4

35. If ye fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family, and the other from hers; if they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation: For Allah hath full knowledge, and is acquainted with all things.

 

DJT1689: Notice the gradual increase in severity which the Quran commands in dealing with a disobedient wife, from a verbal warning, to being denied intimacy, to being physically beaten, to getting divorced. 

 

RKC: Again, there is no “domestic violence” commanded in the Holy Qur’an and you haven’t a clue about the arbitration which is right after the ayat you’re jumping up and down about.

 

 

 

DJT1689: It is clear from the text that the separation of husband and wife should produce a greater effect than the verbal warning.  This is (after all) the second stage of dealing with a rebellious wife.  It follows therefore that after being warned about bad conduct - the wife is to feel a greater rebuke from this second stage of correction - the separation of the couple from intimacy. 

 

RKC: Agreed. The approach should increase as the level of wrong increases or continues.

 

 

 

DJT1689: If this is the case, how much MORE severe must the physical beating be in order to provide an adequate rebuke to the repeated rebellion of the wife?

 

RKC: Did you read any of the previous post? The majority of the post dealt with this. There are limits to this! Some I listed above and others are where The Prophet himself said, “Do not……”.

 

For a Muslim man, hitting his wife in the manner described above is “More sever”. Physical abuse is more too, but exceeds limits…..its unlawful in Islam. Has the entertainment that the “Western Audience” frequents really numbed you to the point that you feel sleeping separately from your wife is more severe than the “strike” I described above? You really think that’s not adequate? Sad.

 

DJT1689: A wife who has ignored a verbal warning and ignored the more severe denial of intimacy is not going to feel rebuked by a gentle tap with a toothbrush!!

RKC: LOL. Prove it. Your “opinion” will not turn into a fact because you have chosen to underline it.

 

 

 

DJT1689: Consider the scene of a woman with a cold scowl on her face and a man on a mission.  They have fallen out of love, perhaps forever, the situation is serious, the man has warned his wife but she is stubborn, the man has slept on the couch, but she ignores him and continues to disobey his commands.  So finally he approaches her with his trusty toothbrush... NONSENSE... the man beats his wife severely to persuade her to obey him.

 

RKC: This is truly an example of men who lack understanding….just as the Qur’an talks about.

 

Surah 4

128. If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best; even though men's souls are swayed by greed. But if ye do good and practise self-restraint, Allah is well-acquainted with all that ye do.

 

 

DJT1689: This is the last resort before divorce proceedings, this is the husband's FINAL rebuke

 

RKC: As I pointed out earlier, it’s not the last resort. Your underlining and capitalizing should demonstrate to all who visit this board, that you have very little credibility.

 

DJT1689: and thus the most severe punishment possible under these detailed Quranic corrective procedures.

 

RKC: Since you’ve put so much effort into severity argument, can you explain how the arbitration fits in, using your “domestic abuse” interpretation..

 

DJT1689: No, this is not a gentle tap with a toothbrush,

 

RKC: You just don’t get it. Move on to another subject before your credibility is any further diminished. From the previous post…

 

“The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) explained it "dharban ghayra mubarrih" which means "a light tap that leaves no mark". He further said that face must be avoided. Some other scholars are of the view that it is no more than a light touch by siwak, or toothbrush. “

 

 

 

DJT1689: this is more like a real life "scourging" as one Quran translator refers to it. 

 

RKC: Or maybe a “light spanking” as Abdullah Yusuf Ali translates it. There are even Muslims who translate it as “separate them”. That fits into your increase it severity theory, correct?

 

 

 

DJT1689: It is very clear that the Quran commands love for the obedient wife

 

RKC: You missed that message too. The Qur’an commands love for your wife, not just an obedient wife.

 

 

 

DJT1689: and does not allow wife beating for every and any reason,

 

RKC: Again. It never allows wife beating. See below.

 

 

 

DJT1689: but it is also clear that the Quran commands domestic violence as a last ditch attempt to save a troubled marriage.

 

RKC: You may want to go pick this book up on Amazon or your local bookstore.

 

“Does Islam Allow Wife Abuse?

Domestic violence is one of the most important issues for women. In the West, this scrouge has been called the invisible crime because of its widespread but underreported nature. Men in evey society and every culture can become abusers. It is not promoted in any religion on earth, yet Islam is sometimes falsely charged with allowing it because of one misrepresented verse in the Qur’an:

 

“As to those women from whom you fear defiant sinfulness, first admonish them, then refuse to share your bed with them, and then, if necessary, slap them. Then if they obey you, take no further actions against them and do not make excuses to punish them.” (Qur’an 4:34)

 

Islam never gives any man the right to strike his wife for any reason except the one listed in this verse, namely, the wife is engaging in some type of evil activity such as drinking alcohol, abusing children, or other really bad behavior. Given that most women are not of this nature, physically punishing a wife should never arise in 99 percent of all Islamic marriages. Now, let’s take a closer look at this verse. If you will notice, two steps for reform and correction are mentioned first: talking with the woman; and if that doesn’t work, the man sleeping on the couch to express his displeasure. Islamic scholars have ruled that these two steps could be carried out indefinitely.

 
But what if a woman is so bad that she refuses to listen and doesn’t care if her husband is not sleeping with her (and she is still engaged in the sinful activity). The last recourse is for the husband to slap her. Now this is where Islam gets interesting. Muhammad, who was brushing his teeth at the time, was asked by a man, “What should we slap them with?” He answered, “With this.” And he held up his toothbrush. Look at that Muhammad interpreted this verse in such a way as to make the physical punishment laughable. (Some Islamic scholars have ruled that a handkerchief can be substituted.)

So actually, if you look at the verse in context, and use the mandatory interpretation of the Prophet, there is never any reason for a man to hit his wife in any way that would harm her. Are there Muslim men who disregard this teaching and abuse their wives, and for no reason? Yes, and when Muhammad heard about some men like that in his time he said, “Those men who beat their wives are not the best among you.” On another occasion he remarked that it was insane for a man to beat his wife and then try to sleep with her later. The golden rule, aptly stated by Muhammad, is: “The best among you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best to my family.” He never laid a hand on a woman in anger.

To restate, Islam does not allow a man to beat his wife; it merely provides a way for the man to symbolically express his displeasure when his wife is committing a grave sin that threatens the stability of the family. Divorce may be the man’s next step.”

 

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Understanding Islam, Pages 259 - 260

 

 

 

DJT1689: This I find unacceptable and barbaric. This is not the dark ages,

 

RKC: If I were using you twisted view of this ayat, I would believe it to be “unacceptable and barbaric” as well. 

 

 

 

DJT1689: surely it would be better to pray for such a woman?

 

RKC: Supplication for your wife is assumed to have already taken place. It shouldn’t need to spelled out specifically.

 

 

 

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Questions and Answers about Quranic verse 4:34

By
Karim
(He is a new convert to Islam, from the Netherlands)

 

 

 

 

“Men are the protectors and maintainers (in a proper and fair manner) of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).” (Qu’ran 4:34)

 

Notes:

·          The arabic word used for ‘ill-conduct/rebellion’ = nushooz

·          The arabic word used in noble verse 4:34 above is "idribuhunna", which is derived from "daraba" ,The word in Arabic means to "strike" or "hit".  It inludes everything from a tap with a tooth-stick to what in English we call beating.  If it is stated that so-and-so "hit" so-and-so without further description, it would be assumed to be a single blow and it could be of any magnitude. When the Prophet (sas) took a tiny stick and tapped one of the Muslims on the stomach to straighten the ranks in preparation for war, he "hit" him with this meaning.  Contrast this to the English phrase:  "beat them".  The meaning is totally different.  If you took a shoe lace and hit someone on the hand with it, you could properly say dharabtahu in Arabic but in English you could never say that you had "beaten" that person.

 

1 Does the Arabic word 'daraba' necessarily mean "violent or intense or repeated striking?

No, jurists routinely use the expression "daraba al-ma' `ala wajhihi" - lit. strike water upon the face, for someone accomplishing the first rukn of wudu' (washing the face).

Also in Arabic daraba al-ard "to strike the earth" - as in verse 4:94 {When you strike the earth in the cause of Allah} - means to travel, i.e. walking with a staff.

The Prophet (pbuh) also expressed astonishment at the cruelty of certain men when he said: "Could any of you beat his wife as he would beat a slave, and then lie with her in the evening ?" (Bukhari and Muslim).

The crafty little anti-Islam page on domini.org states:

Of course the above is false and tendentious but couched in the syrupy style typical of missionaries.

The hadith in Muslim states that the Prophet (pbuh) in his Farewell Pilgrimage said: "Lo! My last recommendation to you is that you should TREAT WOMEN WELL. Truly they are your helpmates, and you have no right over them beyond that - EXCEPT IF THEY COMMIT A MANIFEST INDECENCY. If they do, then refuse to share their beds and beat them WITHOUT INDECENT VIOLENCE . Then, if they obey you, do not show them hostility any longer. Lo! you have a right over your women and they have a right over you. Your right over your women is that they not allow whom you hate to enter your bed nor your house. While their right over them is that you treat them excellently in their garb and provision."

Note:

EXCEPT IF THEY COMMIT A MANIFEST INDECENCY  = fahisha mubina (which means) :  immorality that may lead to adultery      

WITHOUT INDECENT VIOLENCE  =  fadribu hunna darban ghayra mubarrih

·          Mubarrih = defined in al-Mawrid as "violent, intense, severe, acute, sharp, excruciating, tormenting, agonizing."

·          Qatada said as narrated by al-Tabari in his Tafsir (5:68):  "Ghayr mubarrih means ghayr sha'in = not disgraceful/ outrageous/ obscene/ indecent [beating]."       

·          Muhammad Asad translates it over-figuratively as “not causing pain”

After this, whatever Muslim man derogates to the recommendation of the Prophet (pbuh) has violated his covenant with the Prophet and shall be called to account for it; and whoever of the non-Muslim men or women claims - even the Archbishop of Canterbury and his wife - that beating women is allowed in Islam, has belied the Divine witness invoked by the Prophet and shall be called to account for it in the Divine Court.    

2 What is the evidence for saying that this 'striking' is in fact only supposed to be carried out with something small, like a miswak?

`Ata' said: "I asked Ibn `Abbas: 'What is the hitting that is ghayr al-mubarrih?' He replied: '[With] the siwak and the like'." Narrated by al-Tabari in his Tafsir (Dar al-Fikr reprint 5:68).

Al-Razi (3:222) mentions that as a rule (a) it must be a light beating and (b) the face must be avoided. He added that certain of the Shafi`i jurists said "a coiled scarf (mindil malfuf) or his hand may be used but not a whip nor a stick."

 
3 Where is the hadith found in which the Prophet (pbuh) said to a servant-girl who had been extremely late "If I were not afraid of Allah, I would hit you with this" referring to a miswak?

Ibn Sa`d in al-Tabaqat al-Kubra, Al-Tabarani in al-Mu`jam al-Kabir, Abu Ya`la in his Musnad, Abu Nu`aym in Hilyat al-Awliya' and al-Hakim in al-Mustadrak narrated from Umm Salama: "The Prophet (pbuh)was in my house and there was a siwak in his hand. He called for Wasifa [the servant-girl] to come to him or to her [i.e. to serve Umm Salama] but she tarried until anger was visible on his face. So Umm Salama went out to her and found her playing with an animal. She said to her: "You are playing while the Messenger of Allah is calling you?" She replied: "No, by the one who sent you with truth! I did not hear you." Whereupon the Prophet (pbuh) said: "Were it not for fear of exaction (qawad) on the Day of Resurrection, I should surely make you sore (la'awja`tuki) with this toothpick."

Al-Munawi in Fayd al-Qadir mentioned that al-Mundhiri and al-Haythami declared its chain of transmission good. Al-Suyuti graded the hadith "fair" (hasan) in al-Jami` al-Saghir. Al-Muttaqi cited it in Kanz al-`Ummal (#39820, 39821, 39829).

 
4 What is the exact meaning of 'nushuz'? It is translated as disobedience, but there seem to be others who think it means something more like 'ill-will' or 'hostility' or 'ill-treatment'.

It depends on context and how these terms are themselves understood by those who use them. Ill-treatment on the part of a wife to her husband, for example, is a bit different from ill-treatment on the part of a grocer to his customer.

Nushuz is translated "Recalcitrance, disobedience, violation of marital duties on the part of the wife" in al-Mawrid Ar-Eng Dictionary.  Nushuz or "recalcitrance” is here an euphemism for adultery. The wife's primary marital duty is spelled out in the mass-transmitted hadith of the Farewell Pilgrimage (in Sahih Muslim) as "not allowing whom you hate to enter your bed nor your house." Al-Maziri also said that another interpretation of the words in that hadith said it referred to a woman sitting in seclusion with a stranger inside her husband's house. (In al-Nawawi, Sharh Sahih Muslim.)  

 

5. Is it not true that slapping someone on the face is not allowed in Islam? Is there a consensus on this point?

It is a transgression requiring exaction (qawad) which can be changed into monetary compensation (diyya) in the Four Schools, Allah knows best.

Examples:

(a) the famous hadith from Mu`awiya ibn al-Hakam in Sahih Muslim of the black woman slave whom her owner slaps and is then obligated to manumit as her compensation.

(b) Also in Sahih Muslim, the example of Suwayd ibn Muqarrin who saw a man slap his female slave and told him: "Do you not know that the face is taboo? (al-sura muharrama) I, whom you see in front of you, the seventh of my brothers, was with the Messenger of Allah and we only had one servant; one of us slapped him, so the Messenger of Allah commanded us to free him."

(c) "Whoever strikes his slave in the face or beats him unjustly, his expiation is to manumit him." Narrated from Ibn `Umar by Muslim in his Sahih.

(d) "If you fight your brother, avoid striking the face, for Allah created Adam in his image." Narrated from Abu Hurayra by Muslim and al-Bukhari, the latter without the words "your brother." If this is forbidden while fighting or when interacting with a slave, then a fortiori it is forbidden outside fighting and with one's wife.

Do not be misled by the Satanic whispers of domini.org which states:

Crafty, crafty, and all for what? lies. Ars longa, vita brevis!

The commentators also mention that this report is narrated only from al-Hasan al-Basri who is NOT a Companion. The most that can be said of it here is that it is a weak, isolated, mursal Tabi`i report that does not have probative force.

What is more, al-Hasan himself flatly contradicts the above as he reportedly explained {wadribu hunna} to mean: "hitting that is not obscene; hitting that does not leave a trace (darban ghayra mubarrih ghayra mu'aththir). Narrated by al-Tabari in his Tafsir (Dar al-Fikr reprint 5:68).

6 Has the phrase 'wadribuhunna' in 4:34 normally been interpreted as a command or has it been interpreted as more of a recommendation?

It is not generally permitted to hit one's wife, and the overwhelming instances of hitting that take place in marriages are not only haram but also entail abuse, wrongdoing (dhulm), and a turning away from the example of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him), who often instructed his companions not to hit their wives, and who said, when he heard about men who hit their wives, "The best of you are the best to your spouses, and I am the best of you to their spouse." The wives of the Prophet, including A'isha (Allah be pleased with her), relate that he never hit any of his wives.

Narrated Mu'awiyah al-Qushayri: "I went to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) and asked him: What do you say (command) about our wives? He replied: Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them.  (Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 11, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Number 2139)"

Narrated Mu'awiyah ibn Haydah: "I said: Apostle of Allah, how should we approach our wives and how should we leave them? He replied: Approach your tilth when or how you will, give her (your wife) food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not revile her face, and do not beat her.  (Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 11, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Number 2138)"

But what about the Qur'anic Verse?

Yes, the Qur'anic verse [4.34] does give permission to hit. But, as Imam Tahawi mentions in Mushkil al-Athar [3.341-345], this is understood--when considered with the texts interdicting and discouraging hitting--to refer to hitting that is within limits, when the situation calls for it (in the case of nushuz mentioned by the prophet  in his last speech).

Sultan al-Ulama Izz Ibn Abd al-Salam is quoted by a number of authorities, including Ibn Allan al-Bakri in his Sharh Riyad al-Salihin, as mentioning that the "hitting" that is conditionally permitted is only permitted when one is reasonably sure that there will be general benefit in it (and this benefit is greater than the associated harms).

Given the changes in societies, cultures, and human dynamics, as well as most people acting with ignorance and emotion rather than doing so according to the dictates of Revelation and reason, this would entail that the general ruling is impermissibility, except when it is in fact: (a) within limits; (b) done when the benefit is greater than the harm--for in such cases it will be an acceptance of lesser harm to avoid greater harm.

At the level of healthy marital relations, the Qur'an commanded us to live together with excellence, to be good to each other, to communicate and consult in positive ways, and for the underlying impetus in marital dealings to be love and mercy. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) gave us a living commentary on how to do this, in his beautiful and exemplary marriage life.

 

Note:

Question 1,2,3,4,5 are answered by Sheikh G.F. Haddad

Question 6 is answered by Sheikh Faraz Rabbani

May Allah swt bless and reward our beloved sheikhs !

 

Refuting the false deceiving claims made by christian missionaries about this issue:

Answering false claim nr.1:

‘An answer to the false claim made by anti islamic people that the prophet (peace be upon him)  commented on the complaining women and not the husbands in the hadith below’

Answer:

The above statement is such a big and cheap lie, the prophet was clearly condemning those husbands and not the women !

( see for the proof:  Riyad as Saliheen chapter 34, nr 279 at  http://www.sunnipath.com/Resources/PrintMedia/Hadith/H0004P0034.aspx ) .

The prophet (peace be upon him) told the believers that ‘those husbands are not the best among you’ , the prophet (peace be upon him) also revoked the dispensation. Further this hadith proves that wife beating wat not permitted at all, since Umar came to ask permission for the prophet (peace be upon him), if hitting ones wife was normal and allowed in any case or in many cases, then umar wouldn’t asked the prophet (peace be upon him) permission for it, therefore:

 

·          The man has no right to beat his wife as per the explicit prohibition of the Prophet (peace be upon him)

·          The basic rule (asl) is strict prohibition, followed by dispensation (rukhsa) as explicited by the Prophet (peace be upon him) in the hadith where the Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Do not hit the maidservants of Allah ! " ( la tadribu ima' Allah ). Then Umar came to the Prophet and said  ( by way of exaggeration , cf. ‘Awn al-Ma `bud ) : “The wome are rebelling ( dha'irna )  against their husbands !  “ So the prophet gave a dispensation ( rakhkhasa ) to beat them. Whereupon women started pouring to see the family of the messenger of Allah and complain about their husbands. Seeing this, the prophet said: “Many women have poured in to see the family of Muhammad, complaining of their husbands, and the latter are certainly not the best of you”

(Narrated from Iyas ibn `Abd Allah ibn Abi Dhubab by al-Shafi`i in his Musnad, Abu Dawud, al-Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, al-Tabarani in al-Kabir, and al-Hakim. Al-Nawawi and al-Suyuti graded it a sound (sahih) narration in Riyad al-Salihin and al-Jami` al-Saghir respectively).

Another authentic version in Sahih Ibn Hibban (9:491) adds that the Prophet then revoked the dispensation. His statement that “the best of you are the best in their behavior towards their wives, and I am the best of you in my behavior towards my wives” shows that

(1) wife-beaters are the worst men and
(2) no Muslim wife-beater can possibly claim to imitate the Prophet , although Allah Most High said to imitate him : {Verily in the messenger of Allah ye have a good example for him who looketh unto Allah and the last Day, and remembereth Allah much} (33:21).

(fatwa by sheikh G.F. Haddad, see also sheikh G.F. haddad’s answer given to question 1 in this article, where the prophet’s clearly explained in which conditions/situation hitting’s ones wife lighty and not in the face was allowed )

 

Answering false claim nr.2:

‘An answer to the false claim made by anti islamic people that the prophet one time beat aicha’

 

 

Answer to the mistranslation:

 

The term used in the hadith is:



Imam Nawawi in his Sharh states that:

The word "lahada" according to the lexicographers means, "to push" (dafa'a).

The usage of the word "struck" is not a correct translation. Rather, the phrase should be translated as (as sheikh Gf haddad said):

- He pushed my chest with a push that made me sore

Secondly, this calls to an important matter that is related to the Hand imposition of the Prophet - Allah bless him - because it is a gesture associated with driving away evil influence (waswâs) and conferring blessing as the following reports show:

 

 

1.  Ubay ibn Ka`b said:

 

"There occurred in my mind a sort of denial which did not occur even during the Days of Ignorance. When the Messenger of Allah - Allah bless and greet him - saw how I was affected, he slapped me on the chest. I broke into a sweat and felt as if I were looking at Allâh in fear."   (Sahih Muslim)

2.  Jarir ibn Abdullah Al Bajalî was sent by the Prophet - Allah bless him - on a mission to destroy Dhu Al Kahalasa, the idol-house of Khatham, nicknamed the Yemenite Kaba. Jarr narrates:

 

"I went along with a hundred and fifty horsemen but I could not sit steadily on horse. I mentioned it to the Messenger of Allah - Allah bless and greet  him - who then struck his hand on my chest so hard that I could see the trace of his fingers on it, saying: 'O Allah! Grant him steadfastness and make him a guide of righteousness and a rightly-guided one!'   (Bukhari and Muslim)  

 

 

More proof that the correct translation is   ‘He pushed my chest with a push that made me sore’

Aaishah (Radhiallahu 'Anha) said: "Allaah's Messenger (Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wa Sallam) never hit anything with his hand ever, except when fighting in the path of Allaah. Nor did he ever hit a servant or a woman."  [Recorded by Ibn Maajah. Al-Albaanee graded it Saheeh.]

 

Wife-beating can’t be considered "in the Cause of Allaah" - the reference in the Hadeeth is a reference to Jihaad on the battlefield. "When the prohibitions of Allaah were violated" is a reference to someone committing a crime, and their being tried and then punished by flogging. This is not a reference to the way a husband should treat his wife. So here we clearly see in a sahih (authentic) hadith that Aisha clearly told that the prophet ‘never hit a servent or a women’.

So this is also a clear proof that the usage of the word "struck" is not a correct translation. Rather, the phrase should be translated as (as Gf haddad said):

- He pushed my chest with a push that made me sore

 

Audio: Is it permitted to ‘beat’ women? 

Answered by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Listen to the audio dars on: "Fulfilling the rights of women with excellence" by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani

Listen to the audio at:  http://qa.sunnipath.com/issue_view.asp?HD=1&ID=3698&CATE=89   (click at the link, to listen to this audio, it’s a MUST hear)

Taken from:

Clear Paths to the Gardens of the Righteous Imam Nawawi's Riyad al-Salihin Explained, using classical sources Selected hadiths from Imam Nawawi’s Riyad al-Salihin (‘Gardens of the Righteous’) are explained using Imam Ibn `Allan al-Bakri’s commentary, Dalil al-Falihin (‘Guide for the Successful’), and other hadith commentaries and classic scholarly references. The commentary shows us how to soundly understand and live the guidance of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), and brings out the deep meanings of the words of the Beloved Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), whom Allah gave, “The most encompassing speech,” [as related in a hadith in Bukhari and Muslim] for his guidance is brief in words yet oceanic in depth