© Copyright 2007-2008 The Straight Path
Posted by: "imran khan" imrankhan_902@yahoo.com imrankhan_902
Date: Sun Apr 29, 2007 7:06 am ((PDT))

Marriage as a Social Duty to preserve Humankind ISLAM wants to build a model society. It gives utmost attention to the family  lives of the
believers. In the Holy Quran, the principles of marriage are set  out for the welfare of both the individual and the society. Marriage is a social  
duty on the part of the community to preserve humankind, as well as providing a  medium for love and mercy between men and women.   

In Islam marriage is a pledge and a covenant between the married couple.  Allah says "They have taken from you a solemn covenant" (4:21). It is a
covenant  in which each partner has to abide by his obligations. The worth of this solemn  covenant in fact lies in the implication of protection, love
and mercy. It is  not a title deed, a sale contract a lease or any sort of slavery. The choice of  a wife is restricted only to those whom Islam has
permitted a man to wed and  this is elaborately explained in Surah Al Nisa.   Like other contracts, marriage in Islam is a sort of contract that does
not  require a clergy, nor does it require a religious ceremony. Islam considers  marriage a mithhaq (covenant) settled on mutual agreement and
understanding  between man and woman.  The basic condition for a marriage to take place is the acceptance of both  parties involved, and the
presence of two witnesses. The mutual consent is  technically called ijab (affirmation or declaration) and qubul (acceptance or  consent). This shows
that no woman can be forced to marry a particular man  without her consent. A majority of the Islamic scholars agree that the consent  of woman's
wali (guardian) is a
condition for the validity of the contract.   

The Holy Quran says that men are the protectors and maintainers of women  because Allah has given them more physical strength than women
and they (men) are supposed to support them from their means. The qualities of patience,  forbearance, obedience and devotion are bestowed
more in women to strike a happy  balance among the family. Allah has described a caring husband and an obedient  wife as most righteous.  It has
been made clear that the obedience is first towards Allah. Neither  husband nor wife should tolerate the other's follies or sins if these are  against
Allah's injunctions. It is human nature for squabbles
to take place and  misunderstandings to occur, but the husband and wife have been asked to fear  Almighty Allah, be patient, and exercise
self-restraint - all qualities most  appreciated by Almighty God.   

The Holy Quran has laid down clear cut measures for settling disputes between  married couples. Both men and women should admonish in a
polite manner in case  they find fault with each other. Harsher measures are detrimental to the  interest of the family. Use of physical force or
abusive language, under any  circumstances, have been forbidden between wife and husband and between parents  and children. Even in the
worst situation of disputes between wife and husband,  resorting to violence or use of loud and harsh words are not permissible. As a  last resort,
arbitration has been suggested, though it is discouraged as much as  possible.   

The relationship between the husband and wife is described in the Holy Quran  thus: "They are as a garment to you and you are garment to them".
The husband  and wife are for mutual support, mutual comfort and mutual protection. The  husband and wife who are bound together by love
and tenderness that Almighty God  has put between them. The Holy Quran says: "The best garment is the garment of  God - consciousness",
meaning thereby to follow the orders and guidance of Holy  Quran. Thus wife and husband can overcome the shortcomings of each other and be  
supportive for each other and eventually can take good care of their children who by and large form a small unit in a larger society.   

The Holy Quran lays the greatest possible stress on kindly and good treatment  towards the wife. Kindness and tolerance are even recommended
in the case when  the wife and husband are temporarily estranged from each other. Upon marriage,  Islam has asked the man to give mehr to his
wife as a "free gift", out of sheer  good will and conviction that it is her own. It is not the right of husband to  benefit from it. Unless she allows
this herself. This is the case of every  person who has the right to possess and use his own property.   In this way Holy Quran establishes women's
right of true property ownership,  free of control or dominance on the part of husband.

- (KT 28/9/2001)